There are some times in my life when I feel that I just want to scream. I want to yell at the person that just cut me off- "Hey jerk! Have some decency! We are all just trying to get home in one piece after a long day at work!" I want to scream at the person that is berating my wife with their petty life problems- "Shut-up! Just really, please... shut-up! Your 'problems' do not register on my radar. Do you even know what we have been going through these last few months?!?! No, you don't, because you've never asked." I want to punch the person that is cussing me out because his remote control is not working... but I don't, because I'm a pacifist. Instead, I tell him that the batteries are only human and that after a long hard life of changing channels and ordering pay-per-view porn for the traveling businessmen on a nightly basis, they can only last so long before their little energies are exhausted.
Just the other day, I was riding my single-speed bike along Riverside when a guy flew past me on a serious road bike. I tried to speed up to see if I could keep pace with him. Further down the trail, he passed a man teaching his daughter how to ride her bike in the bike lanes (not in the walking lanes). The serious biker seemed to yell something at the dad as he passed. This provoked the dad to look away from his daughter and stare the serious biker down as he rode away. Now, granted... there is a certain amount of etiquette to follow when riding your bike on a trail, however, this was a slow day and there were not a lot of people on the trail. My initial reaction was that this biker dude was a jerk! I wanted to give him a piece of my mind... "Hey man! There was a lot of room on the trail to go around the father-daughter life learning experience that was happening on the bike trail. You didn't have to yell at them as you passed them. You didn't need to say anything at all! All you had to do was move over a little on the trail and pedal past them... two seconds later, they would be far behind you and you would probably never see them again." I thought that he should know that this is not something to get mad at somebody about and yell at them. He should be more patient and calm... and then it hit me... why am I trying to give out advice through telepathy to someone I don't even know? Why am I trying to give advice to anyone for that matter?
I have always found myself to be friends with people who make some questionable decisions in their lives. I will listen to them tell me about their latest problem with money, girls, boys, drugs, jobs, religion... whatever. I try to give them advice as best as I can, but I am not a trained professional. I have only dealt with the problems which I have dealt with in my personal life- no more, no less- and I have dealt with them in a very mediocre fashion. My advice usually consists of 85% bad jokes, 10% advice, and 5% just walking out of the room. I am probably making the problem worse by making light of the entire situation. Which brings me back to the same question again... Why am I trying to give advice to anyone?
After I rode past the father and daughter, I realized I needed to just pray for the serious bike rider. I prayed that he would find patience and calmness in his life. I should pray that the person that cut me off gets to his destination safely. I should pray that the people who are dumping their problems on my wife's tiny shoulders (which are already heavily burdened) find meaning in their lives. I should pray that the person who is yelling at me about batteries for his remote control finds true joy in his life. I realized that rather than trying to impose my advice on people, I should simply pray for them. People don't need my advice- they just need someone to hear them out. When someone makes us mad, rather than dwelling on what upset us, pray for the person. While praying, also pray for yourself. Whenever I pray, I always try to remember to pray for patience, humility, and simplicity in my life. Now, heed my advice, and go and pray for that jerk that just flipped you off.
